wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
