I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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