me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
