I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
