Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
