dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
