We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
