I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
