can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
