Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
