So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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