i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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