Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
