Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
