Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
