The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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