That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
