her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
