Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
