I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
