you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
