we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
