If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
