I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
