just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
