no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize