No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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