i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
