i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
