the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
