I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
