remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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