It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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