Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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