i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Randomize
