found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
