ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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