How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
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