so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
