i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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