It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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