We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
