I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
