If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
home. puking in laundry basket.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You need Xanax blowdarts
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
