why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
