just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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