i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
