chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
love makes seman taste better
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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