Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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