He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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