i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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