so explain again why im purple
no
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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