Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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