Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
