Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
