It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
