my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
