one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
