Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
